School dorm lights are off, but my phone glows under the blanket. Rugby bruises throb from afternoon training—coach screaming about commitment while I nod like I’ve got it together. Now the brain won’t shut up. Replays every missed tackle, every half-assed TOK comment in class today. “Why didn’t I speak up?” “Captain should be better.” Then it spirals: uni apps, predicted grades slipping, what if I bomb the EE? What if the team loses because I’m distracted? Round and round, no exit. Energy drains without moving a muscle. Body’s here in the bunk, mind’s already run a marathon through worst-case scenarios.

Feels stupid. I’m not sick, not injured bad, just… tired in a way sleep won’t fix. Overthinking eats hours I should spend reviewing notes or stretching. Instead I lie here, heart racing over nothing concrete. Friends in the group chat post memes about “lie flat,” but I can’t even do that right—guilt for not grinding harder kicks in. Perfect little loop: think too much → feel drained → think about why I’m drained → more drain.

One less loop tonight. One more breath.