Original
Today is Monday, I’m grevious. Rain still fall down, but those water drops like my broken heart farther and farther from me. As the result, I even don’t want to do any study topics, I think my soul is gone with the wind.
My Japanese study is arrived N3 period and we focus on grammar now. I couldn’t understand why I usaully argue with my family memebers only for some tiny mistakes. Why? Maybe nobody know the answer, but who care? I just can certain I don’t know how to continue my life, though I realize everyone’s daily life have terrible moment. I don’t want to be a loser, acarally I’m more similar like a crowd.
In more than thousands of day which I during, I always tell myself I never ever feel any regret after I born in Xian, China. I said some lies in the past, I do some bad things in the past. I couldn’t to face my past or my future, people is a strange animal. I hope I can travel to a fogetten place, nobody know me and I can radom enter to any cafe or resterant to listening the ancient stories I don’t know it before. I even can meet some torist or elder, they could tell me how they during their whole life year and introduce me some young and pretty girls.
All the things can happen in tommorow, I don’t kown how to do as soon as nothing need me to do. I’m not hero, I just can save myself. Just like this bad passage, I use the similar and repeat word to record my boring day. I don’t look forward next day after I die in 12 years old, this is not literature, you know, he know, they know, expect me.
Modified Version
Today is Monday, and I am steeped in grief/sorrow—not merely grievous, but swallowed by it. The rain still falls, each drop a mirror to my shattered heart, drifting ever farther from me. As a result, I find no will to touch my study topics; my soul, it seems, has vanished with the wind. My Japanese studies have reached the N3 level, where we now wrestle with grammar—rules that twist and knot like my thoughts. I cannot fathom why I so often clash with my family over the smallest missteps. Why? Perhaps no one knows the answer, and perhaps no one cares. All I can say with certainty is that I no longer know how to carry on, though I see that everyone’s days are stitched with their own threads of misery.
I refuse to be a loser—yet, in truth, I am more akin to a faceless figure in the crowd. Across the thousands of days I’ve endured since my birth in Xi’an, China, I’ve whispered to myself that I’d never harbor regrets. But those were lies. I’ve told falsehoods, committed misdeeds, and now I cannot face my past—or my future. Humans are strange creatures, aren’t they? I dream of escaping to a forgotten realm, a place where no one knows my name. There, I could slip into any café or restaurant, listening to ancient tales I’ve never heard before. I might meet a wanderer or an elder, their voices weaving stories of their years, perhaps even introducing me to vivid, youthful souls. All this could unfold tomorrow, yet I stand paralyzed, unsure what to do when nothing seems to need me.
I am no hero—I can barely save myself. Like this fractured passage, I lean on repetitive, worn words to etch out my dull days. I ceased anticipating the next dawn when I was twelve, as though I died in spirit then. This is no literature, you know—he knows, they know—everyone but me.
Grievous → Grief/Sorrow: “Grievous” is an adjective, but your tone suggests a noun like “grief” or “sorrow” fits better for emotional depth.
Fall down → Falls: Simplified and corrected for natural flow; “down” is redundant with “fall.”
Broken heart farther and farther → Shattered heart drifting ever farther: Enhanced imagery and corrected awkward phrasing.
Gone with the wind → Vanished with the wind: “Gone” is fine, but “vanished” adds a poetic touch.
Argue with my family members → Clash with my family: “Clash” is more vivid, and “members” was simplified for conciseness.
Who care? → Perhaps no one cares: Corrected grammar and softened the tone for reflection.
Continue my life → Carry on: “Carry on” feels more natural and literary here.
Acarally → Yet, in truth: Corrected the typo “acarally” (likely “actually”) and rephrased for flow.
Crowd → Faceless figure in the crowd: Added specificity and imagery to elevate the expression.Said some lies → Told falsehoods: “Told falsehoods” is more formal and literary.
Do some bad things → Committed misdeeds: “Committed misdeeds” aligns with the introspective tone.
Fogetten → Forgotten realm: Corrected spelling and added “realm” for a dreamlike quality.
Torist → Wanderer: Corrected “tourist” and chose “wanderer” for a more romantic, literary feel.
Young and pretty girls → Vivid, youthful souls: Broadened and enriched the description.
Bad passage → Fractured passage: “Fractured” better reflects the emotional fragmentation.
Similar and repeat word → Repetitive, worn words: Corrected grammar and enhanced description.
Die in 12 years old → Died in spirit then: Corrected grammar and added “in spirit” for clarity and depth.
